Original Podcast Script

4/4/2017

IN AN ALTERNATE WORLD

By

Victoria Neal

Adelyn Finley

Length: 8 minutes

vbneal@ncsu.edu

aefinley@ncsu.edu

TWILIGHT MUSIC

ADELYN:

(V.O) Have you ever had a discussion that started to become a little heated?

HARDCORE BELIEVER:

(V.O) Aliens have ALWAYS existed and are even involved in our government! Every presidential election has had some type of alien involvement.

MODERATE BELIEVER:

(V.O) Well, I doubt that aliens even exist and if they did they wouldn’t be involved in such ridiculous ways!

INTRO MUSIC

VICTORIA:

(V.O) This is Victoria.

ADELYN:

(V.O) And this is Adelyn. Today, we’re going to be talking about aliens and we have a couple different theories that we want to introduce to you guys. I’m going to be talking about the apocalyptic, World War Three like theories and Victoria will be discussing the more humane world.

VICTORIA:

So one theory that has been floating around the internet lately is the idea that aliens could look more like humans. According Professor Conway Morris by way of the highly reliable source, Dailymail.com. life that is on earth like planets could make organisms that evolve into very human like subjects. If they look like humans, what prevents them from acting like them?

SNEAKY/REDUNDANT MUSIC

NARRATOR:

(V.O) Imagine sitting at home in your robe watching another episode of Housewives of Beverly Hills when you hear a knock on the door.

KNOCK

(V.O) You turn off your guilty pleasure and peep through the window, only to see one of the suburban moms and her annoying kid that fundraises all the time just to win something stupid. Yeah, You know that kind of family.

(V.O) You finally open the door and little Jimmy immediately hits you with the

ANNOYING JIMMY:

Would you like to buy a candy bar to help me win bike?

NARRATOR:

In your head you’re thinking, man this kid waste no time.

After you politely say no, Jimmy’s mom looks at you. This time she ask you to buy from her son. When you refuse, yet again, she whips out a freaking laser, stabs you in the you in the shoulder you fall to the ground and watch your legs disintegrate before you. I mean what’s going on you guys?

VICTORIA: So, has this ever happened to you before as ya know a human?

ADELYN:

I don’t know about you but I’ve definitely had some people showing up to my doorstep every once in awhile who have got some crazy ideas and do some crazy things. I don’t

(ADELYN CONT’D OVER)

know if they have three eyes or whatever we expect from aliens but I’ve definitely have some people that I don’t know about you guys,

VICTORIA:

So, do you think if aliens existed they be like this? You think they’d come asking you to put some money towards their fundraiser?

ADELYN:

I mean if they’re aliens the likelihood that they’ve gone to college and have a degree is really just not probable. Which means they’re probably having a hard time, bare with me here, probably having a hard time getting a job. I mean if anyone is gonna come to my door and ask for money of some sort, it’s probably going to be an alien. Let’s be real here.

VICTORIA:

Would you say yes? Would you give them the money?

ADELYN:

For fear of my life. I mean I have no desire to disintegrate or be stabbed with lasers. I’m also a broke college student so it’s not like I have that much money to give away. Maybe if they’ll take some nutella, popcorn, or something.

VICTORIA:

So you’ll negotiate a little bit?

ADELYN:

I’m sure the aliens would be down to negotiate a little bit.

VICTORIA:

Oh yeah, for sure.

VICTORIA:

Now that we’ve gone over the more humane aliens, I think it’s time we look deeper into a different kind of alien, maybe one that’s on a warpath or maybe interested in other worldly relations.

ADELYN: Or as I like to call it, the apocalyptic alien!

So, as nice as it would be to believe that aliens are going to be humane, let's be real. If i'm coming from another planet to earth, I’m going to capture earth and enslave everyone or kill them and ship them off or something like that I don't know. let's talk a little about the inevitable, invasion of the alien.

For example, let me tell you about this. There is an idea floating out about there and is widely accepted. That aliens are joining in the fight against Russian president, Vladimir Putin. Didn’t know we were fighting? According to Revelation13.net, Putin is determined to ignite WWIII sometime between 2017 and 2020. I know. We’re in 2017, right now.

VICTORIA:

Wow, I didn’t actually know that.

ADELYN:

(V.O.)Well, here’s the thing. And if that wasn’t already mind blowing enough, Jesus will be siding with the Aliens.

TRANSITION MUSIC

NARRATOR:

(V.O) Imagine that it’s just a normal day in year 2020. You’re running with your dog outside and suddenly you hear an explosion.

WOMAN:

(EXPLOSION and SCREAM)

What IS that?!

NARRATOR:

(V.O) And almost immediately a figure dressed in all white and wearing a t-shirt ascends from the wreckage. As you start to get closer to figure you’re able to make out what looks to like to be a shirt that says “Putin For Prison 2020” As you approach the figure, they begin to speak.

JESUS:

Behold, it is I!

NARRATOR:

As the crowd begins to grow, another figure starts to appear.

JESUS:

We are here to take back earth from the disaster it has turned into.

ALIEN:

ALIEN NOISE

JESUS:

Correct. World War Three is upon us and we will destroy the man by the name of Putin.

NARRATOR:

As Jesus and the Alien stand together, hand in hand and fists in the air, you see spaceships fly overhead and drop packages to the crowd’s feet. When you open the package, you see a small red hat with the decal “Make Earth Great Again.” Make Earth Great Again is chanted as Jesus and the Alien climb into their ships and take off into the sunset, hand in hand.

ADELYN:

I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty realistic right?

VICTORIA:

I mean if there was a time for the world was gonna end I definitely think it's 2020. Ya know in 2012, we thought “oh yeah the world is gonna end today. ya know this is the year this is when it was predicted” but no. Based off of this theory, I really think this is the year. I really do.

ADELYN:

Okay, Okay. Maybe Jesus coming back with the aliens in tow is a little over the top, especially since he never even mentions aliens in the bible.You have to admit, as a culture, we’re pretty obsessed with the end of world and aliens. There has to be some type of research going into it.

ADELYN:

I mean if there is, I definitely wanna find it. I want be able to predict the future.

Man, I wonder if it will be 2020. Since we are in 2017 right now, maybe the next election year will bring some mass destruction.

ADELYN:

I mean if who knows, if Trump can be president an alien can probably be president too.

VICTORIA:

Make Earth Great Again.

ADELYN:

Make Earth Great Again.

VICTORIA:

and on that note,

ADELYN: Thank you all for listening!

This has been In An Alternate World

ADELYN:

(V.O) None of the theories that Adelyn and Victoria present are to be taken as fact or fiction. Adelyn and Victoria are simply speculating and bringing you the What Ifs of life.

END